Return of the Past
by Rhelana
Summary: Sanji stumbles upon a fountain of youth. Secrets of his past will be revealed as a result of this. How will his nakama handle this information? How about his lover? This is a malexmale relationship. Don't like don't read, no smut. Rated M cause this is Sanji and Zoro we're talking about. There will be swearing, and intense situations and conversations.
1. Chapter 1

**A/N:** This is being written as I go. That means reviews can influence the story. I do not, and never will, demand reviews for more chapters. But if you make a suggestion or request that I like, I will try to use it! Unfortunately, that also means that with my busy life, I cannot promise when new chapters will come, just that I _**will**_ finish the story. Thank you in advance for any constructive criticism you can give me.

Many thanks to MsComrade for inspiring me with her story _Conquered Past_ and also allowing me to use some of her story (rewritten) in the future! If you haven't read her story, I recommend you do so.

Disclaimer: I do not own One Piece or any of the characters used in this story. If I did, Sanji and Zoro would spend less time fighting and more time making out, lol.

**Return of the Past**

Sanji jolted from his nightmare. He held himself still, listening to the other inhabitants of the room. He needed to make sure he was the only one who stirred. No one else could know that he just had a nightmare. It wouldn't be the first time he'd woken them up, but each time it happened it was harder to explain away their worries so he wouldn't be questioned. He could imagine the comforting words they would attempt and the looks of pity he would get if they found out. But all was quiet in the bunk room, the only sound was Zoro snoring, rather loudly, in his ear. The warm puffs of breath on his neck helped calm him, the heavy arm around his waist centered him. A couple of deep breaths and he felt his heart rate begin to slow.

Step one of nightmare-recovery done.

Slowly, he reached for the arm slung around his waist. This was the hardest part. The memories of starving on that rock always triggered the need to do certain things in him. Things he'd stopped needing to do in his daily life a long time ago and only did on nights like tonight. In order to accomplish these, he needed to get out from underneath the lump of muscle behind him. If he woke everyone up when he woke, he could convince them to go back to sleep. Even Zoro would go back to sleep with reassurances he was just getting a drink. If he woke the green headed moron while he was trying to escape, then he would insist on accompanying the cook. This would result in Sanji going back to bed, pretending to sleep. Of course the night would be spent staring into the darkness, fighting imaginary hunger pains, and not sleeping. The alternative would be explaining to his lover why he needed to do these things. This would involve telling him of his past and his weaknesses.

Unacceptable!

So with the utmost care, he placed the arm around his waist on the hip behind him. He shifted his hips to slide off the couch they shared in lieu of a cramped hammock, and the snoring behind him stopped. He froze, waiting for a signal from his lover on how to proceed. He unexpectedly received help from his companion. With a soft groan, the oblivious swordsman shifted onto his back. The change in position nudged the blond off the couch. All he had to do was roll with it. From his new position crouched on the floor, he waited for the snoring to start again. As soon as he heard the soft snores start again he made his way to the mast. He climbed the ladder then quietly lifted the hatch and closed it again behind himself. Finally, he was out. He lit a cigarette and walked to the galley.

Once inside, he walked over to the pantry and started taking inventory. He counted every morsel of food he could find. He had to know exactly how much they had. This was part of the ritual upon waking from these dreams. He always had a fear that they were going to run out of food. That he would have to watch his nakama starve. Next obstacle to overcome was the fear that he would starve, that he was starving now. He pulled out some bread he had made that day, then grabbed some cheese and meat. Sandwiches sounded good. He would make a few of those. It wasn't that much earlier than when he normally woke up.

He quickly made a couple of sandwiches and sat down to eat. As he was eating, he thought about what brought him to this point: hiding in the galley while everyone else was asleep, hoping no one woke to see him stuffing his face.

When he first joined the crew, his nightmares had stopped. He figured being away from the old geezer allowed his vivid memories to fade around the edges, and he was doing good, until they hit the Calm Belt. That was the first time he had to worry about supplies and actually ration them. Since then, the farther away from the last island they had gotten, the more frequent the nightmares came. He didn't have a problem coping with them by himself, but that had been before Zoro and he started getting serious. Now that they had been together for several months-the rest of the crew knew about them, and they had started having sex-Sanji had started to _want _to seek comfort. He fought it, knowing that the neanderthal would laugh at him for whining about memories of starving, or going even farther back to his childhood. The crew knew a little about his past. Enough to understand why he freaked when they wasted food, or why he would never let someone go hungry, but they certainly did not know the full extent of what happened. Luffy may have some details, but even he would never truly understand the horror.

No one can unless they've seen it first hand.

Looking down, he noticed all the bread and cheese was gone, as well as a good portion of the meat. Damn, he hadn't meant to eat that much.

Sunlight was starting to come through the port hole when Sanji was able to focus again. Time to start breakfast then. Hopefully, no one would notice he would hardly touch it. If he claimed to just not be hungry again, Chopper would be sure to want to do an exam. He'd deal with it. . ._if_ he needed to.


	2. Chapter 2

Sorry this took so long to update. My father has been in and out of the hospital quite a bit, which results in no desire to write.

Thank you for all the wonderful reviews! I tried to respond to all of you personally.

This is unbeta'd. I will re post the beta'd version, but wanted to get something up.

I do not own One Piece. So sad for Zosan lovers!

Chapter 2

It was a warm and sunny day upon the Going Merry.

Sanji leaned against a rail smoking and enjoying the breeze. Zoro lay not far, sleeping away the warmest part of the day. The ladies lay in sun chairs deepening their tans. The younger crew members were playing in the hold to avoid the heat of the sun.

The cook was feeling pretty good. He had managed to convince Luffy of the importance of rationing, ensuring their supplies would last until the next island. Experience told him that the Captains new found concern over food would last a week at most, buying them four more weeks before they were seriously low. This is enough to ease his own worry about their stores so that he hasn't had a nightmare in almost a week. Most important though, is the fact that his lover is none the wiser of his troubling dreams.

A sudden crashing noise pulled his attention to the door that lead below deck.

Usopp came strolling out whistling a cheery tune. He was walking fast, but not so fast that anyone who hadn't just heard the noise would have found it suspicious.

"Oi, Longnose! What was that crash?" The cook put on his best I mean business face while waiting impatiently for an answer.

"Noise? What noise? I didn't..." the sharpshooter stopped mid sentence when the blond took a menacing step towards him. He took off running after yelling, "Wha! Don't kill me! It was Luffy!" He then disappeared up the crows nest before the now angry man could say anything else.

Scowling and now very worried, Sanji climbed down into the hold. Instantly the teary voice of their doctor reached his ears. Chopper had the tone he used when he was being the responsible doctor_._ The only person he could be using it on was laughing and..._was that splashing he heard? _The cook inhaled deeply and gathered his patience before yelling " Luffy, you moron, what did you do now?"

He came around the corner to a very wet bundle of brown fur launching into his arms while crying and asking forgiveness. "SANJI! I didn't know he would throw his arm out like that when I found him or I never would have surprised him! Please don't be mad at me! I'm so sorry and I'll make it up! I promise!"

Blue eyes looked around the hold. They took in the fact that 2 of their remaining 3 barrels of water were broken open. There was a thin layer of water over the floor, and their rubber brained moron of a Captain was sitting amongst the remains splashing in the water and laughing.

In a daze he set the distressed reindeer on the ground and shooed him back up on deck. "Chopper, why don't you go take a nap with the worthless Marimo?" He walked past the still laughing idiot to the last barrel. He pulled the lid up and peered inside. He looked back at their leader and gave a resigned sigh. "Luffy, you managed to take our full barrels out, and left the nearly empty one alone."

"Shishishi sorry Sanji!" The rubber man continued to laugh and splash in the water. "I'll carry the water barrels to fill them at the next island!"

Leaning against the now closed barrel in defeat, the blond waived his hand in dismissal. "Yeah, yeah. Way don't you go play on deck and dry off?" He listened as their rubber brained idiot of a Captain literally bounced up to the deck calling for Chopper and Usopp to start a game of tag. He wondered how long Nami would allow that to go on. Not long was his bet. His precious Nami-swan needed her peace and quiet. He should go and kick those idiots himself once they got loud, but...eh. He heard the heavy thread of boots that meant Zoro was approaching.

He released a heavy sigh as he felt a warm weight settle on his back. Shivers ran down his spine as a husky voice whispered into his ear. "I'm surprised Luffy made it to the deck in one piece. The way Chopper came tearing up the stairs to me, I thought for sure you were swinging knives around." The irritated man shrugged his shoulder to push the face away from his.

"Not now Marimo. I have...a lot to figure out." He sighed deeply again and briefly pressed his lips to the green head resting on his shoulder in a sign of affection. He was surprised when he felt the arms wrapped around his waist tighten and a felt more than heard a low growl come from deep in his lovers chest.

"How much damage did he do?"

Sanji closed his eyes and thought about how much he should reveal. On the one hand, Zoro was the first mate. He should be kept fully aware of their food and water situation, especially since it could weaken the crew and make it harder to protect the ship in an attack. On the other hand, he had completely hidden the food shortage from him so far. To tell him now that there was a food shortage, made worse by the lack of water, would put Sanji in a compromised position. The first mate normally let the crew handle their jobs on their own. He never questioned Nami's decisions about where they were going, or how long to stay on an island. In turn she told him ahead of time if an island might be more dangerous than usual, or if a storm may be coming. The same agreement was in place with Chopper. The green headed man never questioned any ones injures, but Chopper did let him know if someone would be at a disadvantage in a fight. Usopp, the coward he normally was, told Zoro everything immediately.

It was never discussed between them, but the chef was sure the same was expected of him. He was never questioned about how much food he bought, or how large servings were, but he knew he should tell the first mate if they were low. He had not done that yet. Mentioning it now, would allow Zoro to question why he hadn't done so before hand, which could lead to an uncomfortable situation.

Yet another deep sigh left the blond. Only one thing to do. Zoro had to know, he was going to have to try and figure something out with the navigator.

"He did more than you would think." Gesturing at the mess around them he started his explanation "He took out both of our full water barrels. We now only have enough water to last maybe a week if I don't really use it to cook. That brings us to another problem though." He paused so he could turn in the other man's arms and make eye contact. "Our food supplies are low too. I was planning on making a lot of soups and stews to make them last to the next island. I can't now. We'll have to go on food _and _water rations."

The chef watched as the first mate looked over his shoulder at a wall deep in thought. He knew he was about to be called out the second those gray eyes settled on his own. He could see the demands in them.

"Why didn't you mention the shortage in food earlier shit cook?"

"I didn't think it would be a problem. I had a plan in place to make sure we could make it to the next island without any issues with the food. I just didn't count on the idiot of a captain ruining our water."

As the cook spoke he knew, by the deepening of the furrow between Zoro's eyes, his excuse wasn't gong to cut it with the man. He was proved right when he finally did speak. "I don't care how 'under control' you think you have things. When we are short on food you tell me. I help enforce any rationing that needs to be done, I help decide if we need to find an island to stop at along the way. I'm the one responsible for the safety of this crew. I can't do that if your not up front with me."

During his speech the blond had turned his head away from the piercing stare of his angry lover. Now said lover grabbed his chin and forced him to meet his gaze. "Understand that Cook?"

"Yeah, I got it. Let me the hell go. I have a dinner to plan, and stores to recheck." Sanji yanked his face free and pushed past the angry man. He went into the galley and did exactly as he said he was going to.

* * *

That night Zoro had first watch and Sanji had been very careful to avoid any time alone with the man. It wasn't actually that difficult. While he had been cooking the first mate and navigator had spent the whole time poring over maps and books. Once dinner had been served the galley was a mad house and it was impossible to hold a private conversation. He had recruited Usopp to help with cleanup, and Robin had hung around the galley reading most of the night.

It wasn't that he was upset or even hurt by anger directed at him earlier. He knew he deserved it. He had fucked up big time. He should have told Zoro about the shortage. He should have taken precautions with the water to protect it. He should have bought more supplies at the last island. Yes, he deserved all of Zoro's anger, and had plenty of his own. He'd already resolved that he would do with out food or water until they figured something out. Doing that would give them an addition few days and he had been through this before, he could do it again. It would be so much shorter this time.

The sudden dip of the couch and manhandling by a green haired moron made him jump. He knew he had been laying there awhile, but it couldn't have been that long. He looked up and sure enough, Zoro was trying to maneuver onto the couch behind him. He hissed quietly at the clumsy oaf climbing into bed with him. "Your watch can't be over yet. What are you doing asshole? Shirking your duty?"

"Fuck you. Usopp woke up early and couldn't go back to sleep. He's taking the rest of my watch and his. I wanted to talk to you any way. How long do we have?'

"A week and a half at most. I've cut every corner I can, and we have to keep Luffy out of it all, but we will run out of water before food. Unless it rains."

Strong warm arms wrapped around him, and firm lips kissed the back of his neck. "The witch says no rain anytime soon. She hasn't heard of any islands not on the log pose along the way, but Robin is confident there should be one. The sea witch says it's about 4 weeks to the next island the log pose is pointing out with the mild wind we have. She is hoping for an uncharted one soon though. We'll keep 24 hour watch for it.

"Your not planning on not eating or drinking until we find an island, are you?"

Sanji tried to keep all trace of reaction out of his body. "What are you talking about?"

"I noticed you didn't eat or drink anything at dinner. I know you don't always eat with us, but you didn't eat at all. Don't hurt yourself over this Sanji. Please."

"I don't know what your talking about." He couldn't keep the hint of anger from his voice. This whole mess was his fault. If he wanted to help fix it by giving his rations back into the group he could. Zoro had no right to stop him. No right to try and guilt him by using his name, and saying please in that tone. None!

He felt those same strong arms tighten around him again and a face press into is back. He took a deep breath and tried to exhale all of his anger with it. It mostly worked. What he heard next helped him a great deal more.

"Fine."

That was the end of all discussion that night.

* * *

A morning a week and a half later found the Going Merry's chef starting at the ceiling above his and Zoro's couch. He had served the last of the food and water for dinner last night. He had nothing to serve anyone for breakfast. He was a failure and deserved his discomfort. His stomach was cramped with hunger and he felt weak with dehydration. There was no reason to get up. His watch wasn't until after noon. He could rest here for some time yet.

He blinked as a green head with concerned gray eyes appeared in his field of vision.

"Sanji. Sanji babe you awake?" He couldn't bring himself to talk so he just nodded. "Good. We've spotted an island. We'll be landing in about an hour. You up for exploring it?"

His answer came in the form of him abruptly getting up and getting dressed. He was going on this island, no matter how shitty he felt.

* * *

Thank you! My rewritten Conquered Past coming up next! Since it is just a rewrite, it shouldn't be as long of a wait.


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